My Little Girl

On Saturday, April 15th, my sweet girl Red died. I was gone out of town and she died here at the house with Gus. She was the world to us, the glue in the family factory. There is a hollow place in our world now. We loved you Little Red Dog.

Oh sew Quickly...

I have no time to post. My life is a mess. Oh Calgon, take me away. So, when you drink too much Vodka it makes your brain dry up. Ouch. Come on brain, relax. Oooh. Jake is screaming. I am so excited because I have signed up for a beginners sewing class at First Samples and am going to pushstart my dream of being a DIY clothing designer. Woohoo. If you are interested you can click on the title to this entry and it will send you to thier sight. I read about it in the crappy Austin American Statesman (don't get me started on our great newspaper) and decided to muster up the $120 bucks to do it. I don't see why it seems like I never have time to do anything for myself unless I wake up at 5am, an then it's only yoga, but I'm happy about that. I just need time to sew. I also picked up a book about making clothes out of t-shirts, 108 ways to redesign a t-shirt. You can even make a bikini, as if, I'm packing this chunky belly into any bikini, oh god, give me back my skinny body, pleeeeezzzeeee. My Jake is filled with so many words. He's currently telling me how he spits on monsters and chases them up trees. I love the little fellow, he calls his burps "amaaaazing". I had him say his prayers today from school. It's so cute. I'm not religious but there is something about hearing your child say a prayer he has memorized and talking about God. It's a part of him that comes from somewhere else and has no connection to me. I feel like, in this space, he can teach me something. O.K. just wanted to spit out some words. Must get ready for soccer practice. Check out the slowly evolving link list. I have tons more, just give me time.

Would you be Interested?

I also write poetry and would love to share some with you as I start to get a creative urge. I haven't downloaded all of them onto my blog but here is one and there is a sampler at joannafried.blogspot. Just hit the title entry.


Mama

Streaming tears
melting
hearts foot soldiers
stand-by
Carry, carrying
to carry
I drive forward
unrelenting tears
silkening downward
ever scolding,
a stance
set forth by others
trying tears
plying, flailing, failing
again upright
mine
beats now,
mine
cries now
flying tears
with force and intention,
I melt to tender touches,
hearing
Mama,
Mama,
Mama


Also . . .here are some mamaku's that DID NOT get published at austinmama.com. oh well.

mom mommymommy
mama mama mommy mom
mom mommy mama

mom, play trains with me
just one minute, just one sec
mama play trains, please


Here's another:

Lost.
win a new set of emotions
experiences turn
over memories
relied up
on
expect a hand slung back
searching
a soft curve of
a neck, fitting snuggly
a sweet smell
in a tendril tasted
sleep
a heart cracks
the thought
a smooth clean feel
crossing lips
read deep my heart
can’t think
dreamt lost, signs
telling
at each bay
bliss missed
preciously
arrives late


Anyway, I only have a little time to post and poems are rambling through my head. If I died tomorrow, they would be what marked my life, filled with harsh reproaches towards my loves, and gentle caresses to my son.