During Pregnancy

In this pregnancy, I know my indulgences. I cannot remember my first pregnancy. There is a blackout that occurs during delivery. Anything that happened in the 40 weeks previous is entirely wiped out. In this pregnancy, it is chocolate and coffee. I have no desire for the glasses of wine, or pints of beer that have entertained me through most of my life (aside from the first 14 years when I didn't drink). Thank god for the holidays, you can pick up a small box of candy with 4 pieces that calms my tummy for the day. I get my one cup of java in the morning that once again calms my tummy for the morning. This cup helps me digest the breakfast I can barely swallow down even though I am in my 5th month and everything should be better by now. Hilariously, though I fought it completely, I am sure that only a girl could be doing this to me. I am now convinced I am carrying a little girl, though I had hoped for another (easy) boy. Now, with that intuitive knowledge of a childbearing mama, I have great plans for this little girl. She will take ballet, jazz, tap and modern dance, I will have her doing yoga with me every morning. I will help her to become everything I never have and drive her completely crazy, just like my mom did, does to me. I have become so excited to have someone to dish about shopping, buy fashion mags, go to the beach with, I am overwhelmed. In 6 weeks when I get my ultrasound and find out it's a boy I'll be so deflated, me, the one who fought so hard the concept of a little girl coming into my life. Silly.