Thumper

The hardest thing about pregnancy, for me, is the 1st 3 months. Everyday I wake up, feeling generally o.k., but as soon as I am moving around I can't imagine eating, but desperately need to. As I begin to ingest I get that horrible feeling of nausea and for hours after my mouth tastes like I just ate grease. This goes on all day long as well as a never-ending feeling of exhaustion. I begin to think it will never end, and in the case of my current 2nd pregnancy, I must admit, it hasn't ended, completely. It is getting better. Now, somewhere in the proximity of 18 weeks (I don't know how to keep up with these weeks), I can do chores and errands after work, eat regular meals (almost) and smile (something I had a very hard time doing for awhile). Recently, within the last 3 weeks, I have started feeling alot of knocks on my uterine wall. What I am saying is I think the little monkey is trying to communicate through telegraph. I feel the bumps, I don't know what they mean. It goes on all day, all night, and it's fine by me. Where before this was some strange entity that was torturing me for a reason I did not know, now it is my little buddy, reminding me she or he is still there so please don't eat so much chocolate and drink so much tea and stop with the fries please. So, at 40, becoming a 2-time mama isn't so bad. I'm looking forward to the way that love blossoms and grows from love. Being an only child, I was afraid that there wouldn't be enough love, that love somehow stretched thin and ran out. How was I to know any different. I had belonged to a small community of family and though there was plenty of love there, it had really never had its limits tested. Now, I see, there is room for another, Jake will love his little sibling and I will love Jake and mine and Joel's love grows ever stronger and I still love my poochies, Red and Gus, more than ever. Heck, maybe we will get a few more dogs and a couple of cats. But, for me, this body is done stretching for now.